Ruining our kids' lives, one weekend at a time

On returning from our year of traveling in 2019, I vividly remember a friend saying to me that we had not only ruined our own lives, but also those of our kids.  His theory was that never again would we have such great experiences and so everything that followed would be a bit of an anti-climax.

Fast forward 3 years and we find ourselves living in Washington DC and have just spent the weekend in Manhattan.

Now, I certainly hope that our kids have some wonderful experiences as they grow up, but as weekends go, for a 13, a 12 and a 9 year old, it will be pretty tough to top:

• New York City Opera performing La Traviata in Bryant Park
• Grand Central Station
• Staten Island Ferry
• Statue of Liberty
• Twin Towers Memorial
• Times Square
• Wall Street
• walking across the Brooklyn Bridge
• pizza at Grimaldi's (under the Brooklyn Bridge)
• the cable car to Rosevelt Island for nighttime views of Manhattan
• Chinatown
• Little Italy
• The High Line
• Soho
• Strawberry Fields
• Hip Hop concert in Central Park
• rooftop drinks on 5th Avenue with views of the Empire State Building

Rule No2 in America - It's All in the Name

I had lived in Israel for almost 20 years.

I've been called 'Daran', 'Doron', 'Deren', 'Darn', 'Dareen' and 'Achi'.

My surname has been bastardised into 'Gladstein' "Goldstone' 'Galdstone', 'Gallstone', 'Galdestone' amongst others.

So it's absolutely delightful to have arrived in a country where I am refered to as Mr Gladstone by one and all.

Marlon at the bank, "Hello Mr Gladstone, how can we help you today?"

Renata at the Electric Company, "Mr Gladstone, that's your account all set up now, is there anything else I can help you with?"

Wendy in the office where we live, "Mr Gladstone, if you need anything at all, please just pop in and we'll help you out."

They might not have a clue how to organize a swimming pool full of kids, but you certainly can't fault Americans for politeness and their ability to pronounce a name correctly.

The No 1 Rule when Moving to America

So apparently the Yanks are big on rules.

3 days into our relocation to DC and I'm beginning to understand how they prioritze things.

Buying a gun - no rules, knock yourself out, it's all just a bit of fun.

Abortion - plenty of rules, heaven forbid anyone should be allowed free choice and individual freedoms.

Going to the swimming pool in our complex - more rules than the English language.  Every hour, for 15 mins, all children must leave the pool so that the adults can swim in peace.  Even if there are no adults at the pool.  Because it is 2pm and all the adults are at work.  And the only people at the pool are kids (and me).

So even when the the pool is half full of kids, they must all leave the pool, sit on the side and watch an empty pool for 15 mins. Empty because all the adults are at work, if that wasn't obvious by now!

If there are any adults out there, who fancy a quiet swim, I can certainly recommend the Rollins Park Swimming Pool, every day, every hour, from quarter to the hour, for 15 mins.  

Empty swimming pools - it's the No 1 rule in the US of A.

PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

PTSD

A reaction to a traumatic event.

Post-Travel Stress Disorder.

PTSD

A reaction to returning from a year of travel.


We've been back for 2 months and it hasn't been pretty.  In fact, it's been pretty awful.  It's been disorientating, stressful, disappointing, depressing, boring...in fact the polar opposite of everything we experienced on our travels.

For the 5 of us, each one has coped differently.  The kids seem least affected on the surface, they are back into daily routines, they are certainly enjoying being back amongst family and friends but now have to deal with the trials and tribulations of peer pressure, managing the complexities of immature WhatsApp relationships and rebuilding friendships.  It's not easy.

For Shoshi, having started back at work within just a few short days of our return was both a blessing and a curse.  She had less time to lament our return but on the other hand she has gone from the sublime to the ridiculous, from freedom to the classroom, from stress-free mornings to the 6am alarm clock.  It's not easy.

For me, it's been nothing short of a nightmare.  Returning when I wanted to keep on travelling.  Returning back to the mundane, the pressure-cooker life that is Israel, the lack of excitement, of 'wow', of anything.  I've literally returned to days of nothing.  Having sold my company, I'm now looking for a new path, a new business venture to start, but that is proving very tough to think about when I have very little motivation and energy.  Being a house husband isn't the ideal way to spend one's time after a year of travel.  It's tedious, dull, although ironically quite easy.

A year ago when we left, we were full of excitement, energy, optimism and anticipation of what was coming.  We had hope.  We spent our time researching new destinations, learning about new cultures.  The return has left us with a huge void that we don't know how to fill.  Instead of sharing those amazing experiences that bonded us as a family, now we share arguments over homework, household chores and arguments with moody children who behave like teenagers way before their time. 

So where do we go from here, how to we get ourselves back on the 'up'?

For now we don't have the answer.  We're thinking of all kinds of options, from the realistic to the fanciful.  What we do know is that travelling made us happy and stopping travelling has had the opposite effect.  The highs of travelling have been replaced by the lows of being home and it's quite traumatic.

Now I am perfectly aware that all of this sounds like the definition of 1st World Problems - how can these poor souls possibly deal with returning from a year-long 'vacation'?  But the reality is that long-term travelling opens a Pandora's Box of issues, raising questions for the present and the future that are tough to answer.  The modern world offers us such a multitude of choices that it can be overwhelming, throwing up so many questions for how we live our lives and where we live our lives.  Travelling brings all of this into sharper focus and coming back home feels like getting hit in the stomach by a left hook from Mike Tyson.

So for anyone thinking of going away travelling - beware of PTSD, it's not fun!

(Photo for effect only, unfortunately we're not there right now!)

The Cherry on top of the Cream on top of the Cake

We're not massively beach people.

We're also not crazy about relaxing.

We get a bit stir crazy.

We prefer to be doing, hiking, travelling, sight-seeing.

Then we arrived in the Maldives.

We're now beach people.

Now we enjoy relaxing.

We've had enough of treks, temples and travelling.

We love Maldivian life!

The Maldives is one of those places that always seems just out of reach, both geographically and metaphorically.  It's for honeymooners, certainly not for travelling families on a budget.

But that just isn't the case.  It can be done on a budget, surprisingly cheap.

It's allowed us to end our year of travelling by enjoying some of the most amazing islands in the world on a shoestring budget of around $100 per day for hotels, food, transport and all activities.

8 years ago, the Maldivian Government opened up the local islands to tourism.  This is not the well-known Maldivian resort hotels but small hotels on local islands.  This allowed us to really see the local culture at first hand whilst experiencing everything the Maldives has to offer.

It's a quite breathtaking place, beaches and oceans that we wouldn't have believed could be so beautiful if we hadn't seen for ourselves.

We visited Rasdhoo, Maafushi, Thinadhoo and Fulidhoo.  Each island different, each with its own charm.

On so many occasions, Shoshi and I found ourselves lying on a beach or floating in the turquoise water, just looking at each other and saying "Can't believe we are actually in the Maldives".

It's like living a dream but luckily it has been our reality for the last 3 weeks.

We've thrown in some diving, fishing, plenty of snorkelling and boat trips to keep us busy.

We've swum with sharks, manta rays, sting rays, sea turtles, Giant Travelly and more tropical fish that we can remember.  We've seen dolphins up close.

Unfortunately, we've also seen first hand the truly terrible effects of global warming with the vast majority of the coral reefs across the Maldives being partly or wholly dead.

We celebrated Eid al-Adha, the Muslim Festival of Sacrifice, which showed a completely different side of Islam - colour, parties, music, smiling, happy people.  Perhaps it is the weight of the Middle East that we are used to, but in contrast, Islam in the Maldives has a different vibe altogether. Think Islam meets Jamaica!

The ultimate highlight for Shoshi was diving with a Manta Ray.

For the rest of us, it was the unbelievable snorkelling with Nurse Sharks.

Today is our last day in the Maldives.  Tomorrow we fly to Mumbai then on the 21st, we fly back to Israel.

But we'll always have the Maldives, the cherry on top of the cream on top of the cake that has been our unbelievable year of travelling.

(NOTE - whilst travelling here, I've actually had many conversations with local hotel owners and I think there is a real business opportunity to bring Israeli, British and other tourists to this type of Maldivian holiday.  I am considering setting up a business in this area when we get back but irrespective of any potential business, anyone who would like advice or help planning this type of Maldivian holiday, please just get in touch, I'll be happy to help).

Rasdhoo

Maafushi

Thinadhoo

Fulidhoo